Ten Commandments: God’s and Mine

If I was God and I was going to give the world “Ten Commandments” for life, they might look like this:   1. Thou shall not drive UNDER the speed limit. 2. Thou shall not enter the express checkout lane with 32 items. 3. Thou shall not write, sing, play, or even contemplate country music. …

The Marriage Proposal

It was that wonderful everyday college romance story…with a very unexpected twist.   You know the basic story.  A guy and a girl meet on a college campus and become friends.  In chatting and hanging out together, a little spark develops, and the friendship takes a fun new turn.  It goes by different names, like …

Lance Armstrong: Monster or Hero?

The courtroom is America.  The defendant is Lance Armstrong.  The question: Is Lance Armstrong a monster or a hero?  Let the discussion begin.   Sitting on one side of the courtroom, we have the “monster” Armstrong apologists. This sizable group unloads reams of evidence with passion.   * He defamed people, calling them—or framing them …

Lance, Lies, and Cycle-gate

Recently, I tried my hand at creating a “top ten” list, but the first and most famous “top ten” list was crafted by God.  I hoped to get a few laughs from my “top ten,” but God hoped to save us from a helluva lot of heartache and trouble.  It is precisely why this command …

But I thought for sure I was right!

“The Beatles have no future in show business… Groups are out; four-piece groups with guitars, particularly, are finished.” (Dick Rowe, Decca Records executive, 1962, speaking of the Beatles) “I cannot conceive of any vital disaster happening to this vessel. Modern shipbuilding has gone beyond that.” (Edward J. Smith, Captain of the Titanic)   “Futurists…are sure …

How to buy a house for under $10,000

Let me give you a few key tips for buying a house for under $10,000:   1.  Look for a real estate agent who does side work as a comedian. That is the only place where he/she will make money from your home sale.   2.  Start selling furniture in your current house that will …

Storage Wars: Alabama

My son-in-law, Jeff, first put me on to the show.  Storage Wars.  One episode, and I was hooked.  The concept is simple and compelling.  The cameras follow four featured “buyers” who go to auctions at storage facilities.  When storage facilities have customers who stop paying their unit rentals for several months, their units are sold …

Tears for Newtown

December 14 was going to be just another Friday…until someone called: “Are you following the story on the news? A school in Connecticut.  Is your family o.k.?”  A few minutes later, my wife and I sat in stunned silence, watching a strange, unbelievable kind of story unfold on the television news.  I was at the …

How hard can it be to install a light fixture?

It was supposed to be easy.  After all, I’ve installed dozens of light fixtures; I can do it in my sleep.  I probably HAVE installed a fixture in my sleep.  Replacing the second bedroom light fixture in my new Huntsville home would be done in minutes, allowing me to get to installing the bedroom flooring. …

Knocks on our front door

Can I mow your lawn? (Actually, I already told “Kathy” up the street that she could mow the lawn. Thanks anyway.) The flapper on our toilet isn’t working right. I bought a new one, and I was wondering if you could help me put it in? (A few minutes and a few stories later, that …